Whose Planet Is It Anyway?

Monday, April 10, 2006

Generation Rescue Cries "Witch!"

To recap the sorry history of Generation Flimflam: Last year, a well-funded horde of bandits, quacks, and delusional zealots launched a slick advertising campaign designed to convince credulous parents that their autistic children had been harmed by thimerosal in vaccines, and to separate said parents from the contents of their bank accounts. They promoted bogus treatments such as chelation, to be purchased (expensively) from their own network of doctors (natch). They venomously attacked parents who disputed their claims.

After a child was killed by chelation, did they show any remorse or any concern whatsoever for the consequences of their acts? No, they kept right on quack-quack-quacking away, like the Energizer Bunny's feathered sidekick, endangering children with their bizarre and extremely dangerous voodoo brews of misused pharmaceuticals, including chemical castration drugs.

What's the next stop on their carpetbagging tour of shame? Spewing conspiracy theories on a new website, Put Greed First (or maybe it was Abuse Children First). Here's an excerpt from the site, in which the holy jihadists of Generation Regurgitate proclaim that the U.S. Congress should:

"Hold Senate hearing on the cover-up of the autism epidemic by the CDC and FDA. Our only chance for truth is to hear from the perpetrators of this cover-up under oath with the threat of perjury. If Senate Committee members are unwilling to hold hearings, an independent prosecutor needs to be appointed to investigate this cover-up."

For purposes of historical comparison and (not much) contrast, here's an excerpt from a warrant that was issued at the Salem witch trials:

Salem Aprill. 4'th 1692
There Being Complaint this day made (Before us) by capt Jonat Walcott, and Lt Natheniell Ingersull both of Salem Village, in Behalfe of theire Majesties for themselfes and also for severall of their Neighbours Against Sarah Cloyce the wife of peter Cloyce of Salem Village; and Elizabeth Proctor the wife of John Proctor of Salem farmes for high Suspition of Sundry acts of Witchcraft donne or Committed by them upon the bodys of Abigail Williams, and John Indian both of Mr Sam parris his family of Salem Village and mary Walcott daughter of the abovesaid Complainants, And Ann Putnam and Marcy Lewis of the famyly of Thomas Putnam of Salem Village whereby great hurt and dammage hath beene donne to the Bodys of s'd persons above named therefore Craved Justice.

Paranoia ipsa loquitur (with apologies to Latin purists).

It's past time for decent people everywhere to stand up and shout, "Enough!"

I have just one final question for Mr. Handley before he explodes in a self-created nova of crackpot nonsense: Was there a second doctor hiding behind the grassy knoll with a syringe?



  • Thank you, and, yes, I'm pretty sure it was the thimerosal containing vaccine behind the grassy knoll that killed JFK, or it was the Illuminati that worked for Eli Lilly, could have been thimerosal toting communists... or the CIA...

    I'd love to see Handley blow a gasket on TV and start sputtering spittle and antivax, anti "ND" rhetoric. He'll start twitching and glancing nervously over his shoulder. "My head is NOT big, it's not!"

    By Anonymous Camille, at 6:10 PM  

  • What I really like is the irony in them denouncing us for the evil that they do. It is like NAA denouncing Shattuck for dodgy methodology and erroneous conclusions because they dont knowthe difference between John H Merck and Merck Pharmaceuticals.

    By Anonymous mike stanton, at 7:19 PM  

  • Hi ABFH, a fit analogy!

    By Blogger Do'C, at 11:07 PM  

  • JB Handley turned me into a newt!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:23 AM  

  • This reguires a Wicca-pedia entry:

    The Brad Witch Project?

    Aware Bitch Project?

    By Blogger clone3g, at 11:15 AM  

  • Just so you have one fact accurate, I was advising parents about chelation before GR was formed and I advise them how to chelate their kids for about $30 a month. I know that might be a large sum of money to trailer dwelling coo-coos, but it really isn't much to the rest of us. Chelation might help all of you realize how wrong you are.

    By Blogger Fore Sam, at 12:30 PM  

  • Discount child abuse, John? If they pay only a few dollars more in easy monthly payments, will you castrate their kids for them, too?

    anonymous -- Did he turn John into a newt, too? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Camille -- I accuse Col. Mustard in the library with the candlestick. See, those evil monsters at the candlestick factory are using mercury in the manufacturing process, and the feds are covering it up. It's a huge conspiracy. You want proof? I'll give you a list of every member of Congress who has watched games at Candlestick Park! We need to appoint an independent prosecutor NOW!

    By Blogger abfh, at 4:18 PM  

  • $30 a month X how many parents John? Does GR get a franchise fee? This is fascinating!

    I hope you declare all of this blood money on your tax returns John. I would hate to see an anonymous tip like that one on the reveneubranders.

    By Anonymous Generation Revenue, at 4:07 PM  

  • generation revenue;
    I don't make a dime. That's just what the drugs cost.

    By Blogger Fore Sam, at 6:54 PM  

  • FS: I don't make a dime. That's just what the drugs cost.

    Oh, so you are more of a non-profit middleman, like a freelance pharmacist. Are you licensed to dispense drugs and medical advice? I know you are OK with dosing horses with performance enhancing substances, but what about humans? That doesn't sound legal to me but I'm no lawyer.

    By Anonymous Generation Revenue, at 7:34 PM  

  • GR;
    I don't care what drugs they give to horses as long as the bettors are told about them.
    Drugs for chelation are available without a prescription.

    By Blogger Fore Sam, at 4:12 PM  

  • "Drugs for chelation are available without a prescription."

    Thats cause there skin cream.

    Sounds like what a traveling wagon would say:

    "Come one, come all and try this NEW and amazing cream product guarented to cure you ladies and gentlemen of alls your aliments"

    By Anonymous John Best Jr is a Black Islamic lesbian, at 12:03 PM  

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