Whose Planet Is It Anyway?: The Autism Whines Blues

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Autism Whines Blues

Check out Autism Diva's post It's SO Not Fair, in which she suggests that the misnamed Autism Speaks (as Rose points out in a comment, it would be much more accurate to call it Autism Whines) ought to join the Complaints Choir and get all their worthless griping out of their system.

Here's my contribution to a Christmas gift of Complaints Choir music for them. Just add your favorite blues melody and mix well before serving.

I've got the blues —
The Autism Whines Blues.
Well, I'm a po' li'l rich girl,
My daddy spoiled me rotten.
Gave me everything I wanted in the world,
Heaps of toys, all soon forgotten.
My analyst says I'm a narcissist,
But you know it's my natural right
To get whatever is on my wish list,
And if I can't have it, I'm full of spite.
I've got the blues —
The Autism Whines Blues.

(saxophone solo)

I've got the blues —
The Autism Whines Blues.
Never worked a day in my life,
My kid's being raised by the nanny.
I'm so busy being a society wife,
I've had lipo to sculpt my fanny.
My hair's always perfectly styled,
Except when Lauren Thierry comes calling.
If I can't have a designer child,
I'm gonna scream that the sky is falling.
I've got the blues —
The Autism Whines Blues.

Labels: Autism Speaks

34 Comments:

The rich people must have got a good education too. That's why it's easy for them to see that mercury screwed up their kids. You should've stayed in school and you'd be able to understand.

By John Best, at 8:29 PM
Who is the "we" in your profile? You certainly don't speak for my autistic son. And YOU won't be around to care for him when he ages. No one gave YOU the right to speak for him. And he will require care as he does now.

Try contributing something other than your own "tuff guy" rhetoric to the lives of autistic persons with more serious challenges than you face. If you can.

By Unknown, at 9:21 PM
Umm -AutismRealtyNB - You actually think your child IS an extraterrestrial, freakish mutant or alien lost in space?

The problem is that the Autism Speaks types claim that when THEY speak - autism speaks. The group name should be changed to reflect that it only represents some parents of kids on the spectrum - not act like they speak for all parents - or that they speak for those with autism.

By Anonymous, at 10:22 PM
John and NB, I'm not sure which of y'all I should laugh at first.

If you ever bothered to read my blog, John, instead of just mindlessly trolling, you would know that I did stay in school. It's time to face reality, dude, as painful as you may find it—most of the bloggers on Autism Hub are better educated than you.

NB, as "Anonymous" already has pointed out, the only "we" in my profile refers to not being extraterrestrials. I never would've thought that even the most diehard curebie would try to dispute that obvious fact—but then, not much surprises me any more.

Anonymous, I'm sure that Autism Speaks deliberately chose that name to give the impression that it speaks for all parents and that autistic people are not entitled to a voice (or even to exist at all). All of their language is very carefully chosen for maximum propaganda effect.

By abfh, at 11:23 PM
We went to the Doctors
It wasn't good news
I’ve got the blues
The Autism blues.

When I look in her eyes
My mammy, can see
She sees that I love her
I see she loves me.

I wish I could tell her
Why I scream and I shout
But I’m sure she knows
What I’m all about.

She gave up her job
When she had my big brother
She knew her children
Would need a full time mother.

I’m just like those kids
From autism speaks
I keep my mam up all night
With my cries and my shrieks.

I make myself vomit
I bite my own hands
Most things are ‘to much’ for me
My mam understands.

(meltdown solo)

Our house is a mess
But I like it that way
My mam doesn’t mind
Cause we have a good play!

Her hair’s always a mess
But she doesn’t care
She feels so tired
She’s not going anywhere.

She doesn’t need lipo
To sculpt her fanny
No analyst either
By the way, what’s a nanny?

My wish list is simple
I wan’t to be happy
I tired of feeling scared
And autisms' crappy.

I’ve got the blues
The Autism blues
Don’t judge my mammy
Til you’ve walked in he shoes.

By Anonymous, at 7:15 AM
Anon;
It's the Autism Hub bloggers who claim to have Asperger's and not nerdiness who confuse the issue. AS speaks for autistics but Autism Hub bloggers are not autistic and should change their name to Allegedly Asperger's Hub.

ABFH;
Do you have your Master's degree?

By John Best, at 9:23 AM
O.K.I dont hear of many people who have as little as education as I do at my age but I have done alot to educate myself informally and though I dont know alot about Autism Speaks, my difficulties in getting a formal education has had more to do the attitudes about my differences that Ive heard from people and organizations like Autism Speaks.
ABFH has often encouraged me to not be afraid to say what I think(weather we agree or not) and I dont hear Autism Speaks doing that at all and they dont speak for me at all.I dont think they speak for all parents.I dont think they have the right to say they speak for most of any population. At least not the way they are doing it.
I would hope that parents would also encourage their kids to not be afraid to say what they think and if some group comes along that claims to speak for their kids, parents would do well to encourage them to be willing to say "I dont agree" or "They dont speak for me" if thats the way they feel.
The more I hear autistics not being afraid to to say what they think, the more Im encouraged to do the same.

By Ed, at 10:05 AM
Jonsmum: This post wasn't intended to judge you or any other parent who takes the time to care for and try to understand an autistic child. It's about certain women involved with Autism Speaks, who really are high-society wives who employ nannies and spend very little time with their child.

FS: Now you're claiming to be qualified to diagnose people over the Internet? I'm laughing louder.

Ed: Yes, being able to speak for oneself, without being made to feel afraid, is essential to self-determination.

By abfh, at 10:48 AM
ABFH;
What kind of degree do you have, dear?
If they can type and speak, they don't have any business associating themselves with kids who can't do that. Those kids need help, not respect.
You have a strange sense of humor but the fact that you have one at all leads me to suspect that you're not autistic. Maybe you have Asperger's or meybe you're just someone who wants to obfuscate the issue.
Whether we're talking about society wives or the great unwashed, why should their lives be destroyed by autism? The damn autism got in the way of my golf game and cost me a fortune by not having the time to play horses. A normal kid needs hardly any care by the time they're 5 or 6. So yuh, it sucks for everyone, not just the wealthy.

By John Best, at 1:48 PM
Foresam - I guess by your same reasoning - (that those who can speak or type should not be associated with autism) - those who are "mercury poisoned" as your group claims should not try and steal the autism label. There were a range of children under Kanner's care that were considered autistic.

LB

By Anonymous, at 2:10 PM
I think when a woman sits down in front of her child and says;

Her autistic daughter nearly made her kill herself (classic excuse of the abuser "You made me do this!")

She was plotting to kill her autistic daughter (No window dressing, that's what was said. On film)

And that she stopped herself because the non-autistic kid deserves to grow up with a mom (while the autistic kid evidently doesn't deserve to live),

people are entitled to make judgments. And anyone, anywhere, who makes the excuse, "But parenting is hard! Plotting to murder children's justified if the alternative is doing something hard!", deserves to be called a whiner, and far worse.

By Anonymous, at 2:45 PM
So I assume that should the curebies' children learn to type or speak so much as one word, particularly if said words are being used to communicate, they will stop considering them autistic and therefore forfeit all right to talk about how devastating autism is?

Of course they will. Otherwise they'd be hypocrites, wouldn't they?

Oh, and Jonsmum - as an actual autistic adult, I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted my mother writing something like that "from my point of view" when I couldn't speak or type. I find tactics like that revolting and manipulative, in fact.

By Anonymous, at 3:06 PM
Fore Sam wrote:

The damn autism got in the way of my golf game and cost me a fortune by not having the time to play horses.

Shows where your priorities are. Considering how much of a loser you picked in Generation Rescue, though, it's probably more likely that Sam saved you money when you couldn't go to the track.

And yes, I do have a graduate degree, but I'm not posting the details because I have no desire to be stalked by you in real life.

Isn't your degree in Public Administration or something like that? Did you take so much as one course in science or psychology?

And Jonsmum, as Anonymous said, the women at Autism Speaks are despicable because they see nothing wrong with their very public fantasies of killing their autistic children. They have described autistic people as garbage to be "kicked to the curb," and they are raising money for genetic research to develop a prenatal test. If they actually cared about their autistic children, we wouldn't be attacking them.

By abfh, at 3:42 PM
LB; The autism label is still being given out by the medical profession who caused the epidemic. They gave it to our kids, we didn't ask for it like the nerds who decided they had Asperger's and diagnosed themselves as adults. Autism and mercury poisoning are synonymous.

By John Best, at 3:46 PM
If you claim that autism is mercury poisoning - but have to run off all the people with Fragile X and Asperger's and anyone else who doesn't fit the "mercury profile" than why not correct the doctors and say it is not autism. Of course the truth is it is autism no matter how much they try to ignore men like Kanner because his reports of adults "successfully integrating" without any chelation or ABA (not available at the time) and of children who were verbal at the time of diagnosis get in the way of the mercury only groups agenda.

LB

By Anonymous, at 4:03 PM
Jonsmum — if they're going to claim (as they do) that their children ruined their lives, then the pampered way they're really living is fair game because of their hypocrisy.

By abfh, at 5:23 PM
Jonsmum,
One mom in the video whined because she couldn't go out for bagels with her girlfrieds. One mom whined because she gave up her career (actually I think more than one said this). I did not put those words in their mouths, they are what the women said. There are a couple women talking about how expensive their kids are, how in debt they are (one mom looks like she's gone psycho on buying educational toys and stocking them in a play room in her home floor to ceiling.) There is are references to all the supplements and the bottles are shown on a counter, at least once. Did you watch the video at all?

They didn't say that they lost all their social status, but that is what their big fear is, except maybe the single mom who didn't start out with that much social status. But Alison Tepper Singer did, and so did Bob Wright's daughter. They are part of the American subculture of privileged parents that plan to send their children to Harvard or Yale, from preconception, and send their kids to preschools with Harvard-like tuitions. A child that is slightly less than two standard deviations above the mean in IQ measurements freaks these parents out. What are wealthy women like Bob Wright's daughter supposed to do with a kid that is really disabled and not talking at age 3, when all their friends are bragging about their super babies going to French immersion college prep preschools?

I have a whole blog entry just about Alison Tepper Singer and her murderous comments, most readers of my blog would remember that. In the "It's SO not fair" blog I point out that Alison Tepper Singer might have been given the rap solo if she had joined a complaints choir. But I didn't point out that she had discussed murdering her daughter in THAT one blog. I've commented on it many times, though.

By Anonymous, at 6:34 PM
Here's an article about the pressure to get a kid into a good preschool in NYC.

here

By Anonymous, at 6:44 PM
Jonsmum: On more than one occasion, Suzanne Wright has said "autism knocked on the wrong door, let's kick it to the curb," or similar words. She intends to accomplish this goal by means of prenatal screening, which literally will result in large numbers of autistic babies ending up in garbage bins outside abortion clinics.

Here's a link to one pro-Autism Speaks article that contains a kick-to-the-curb reference:

nyobserver.com/20060605/20060605_Ron_Rosenbaum_pageone_ronrosenbaum-3.asp

As for their children ruining their lives, Autism Speaks prefers to use even stronger words, such as "devastating" and "unbearable." Here's one article about a wealthy couple on their board of directors who say they're so devastated that they sometimes wish their son would drown in their pond:

autismspeaks.org/docs/Town_and_Country.pdf

I'm not denying that autistic children often are difficult to raise... but society doesn't have to kill us for it.

By abfh, at 6:53 PM
ABFH, How old were you when you learned to speak? Type?

By John Best, at 7:29 PM
Jonsmum;

Sorry, but I'll never consider writing curebie pieces from the 'point of view' of an autistic person with no formal communication system anything more than a disgusting (and poor) rhetorical tactic. Especially considering that I've BEEN that young person. I wouldn't have viewed myself in terms of deficit and tragedy then, and I don't now.

If you really don't care what I think, you could try not replying.

By Anonymous, at 10:14 PM
Anon;
If you were to become normal, you would appreciate what you have missed. I guarantee you would think back and see how tragic it has been. Then you would get pissed off and try to sue the bastards who poisoned you just like every sane parent wants to do. I'd rather beat them with a bat but my sanity allows me to settle for some of their money. You'll feel the same way if you get better.

By John Best, at 10:51 PM
Jonsmum: There may be a difference between British and American word usage, but here in the US the only thing that gets kicked to the curb is garbage.

Fore Sam: You've got just a few more months to fantasize about what you're going to do with all your imaginary money before that vaccine case gets thrown out of court. But what the hey, you can always go back to dreaming about winning the lottery.

By abfh, at 11:34 PM
Fore Scam,

Go back to hatingbeingamoneygrubbingloser.blogspot.com and stop pretending you're adding anything useful to the discussion. Take jonsmum and the other mercury loons with you.

By Anonymous, at 1:00 PM
Mouse; I just hit a 22 to 1 horse and a 5 to 1 horse so my work is done for the day. I worked for half an hour and now have no further need for money grubbing for awhile.

By John Best, at 1:35 PM
There is a guy at work I think I should hate. He is smart (holds a PhD), he is easy going, good-natured, humble and has a good sense of humour. I probably still shouldn't like him though. Most people at work don't. He used to be a little stand-offish and avoid conversations that touched on his culture, religion or past. Until of course he saw I didn't care. It is interesting seeing his perspectives on life even if I don't subscribe to his religion or culture personally. It makes for an interesting yarn and I am always interested in finding out new things. He is too and is actually going to a proper Australian style wedding this weekend for the first time and was asking me about what the customs or practices to observe. Very respectful.
I should hate him though because he is an Iraqui practising Muslim and therefore should be "lumped in" with those animals that were responsible for the "Bali Bombings" and other terrorist attacks.

Correct? Or maybe if we weren't to follow such ridiculous reasoning we would be able to recognise that select individuals or their particular beliefs do not NECESSARILY emcompass the whole of "Autism Speaks" or any other Autism awareness organisation.

As for how a parent initially reacts or copes with the understanding that their bundle of joy is autistic and tries to cope with the new and unexpected reality. Been there done that - not fun. Yes no-one takes it well. Yes it is difficult and you are liable to react or say things that aren't what you would like to have shown or quoted back to you once you have adjusted to the situation. Of course their wouldn't be too many people who would take pride in doing this to people in crisis though would there?

The test and what ought to be a person's measure though is how and what they do with their life and the life of their child. For some it is being a positive parent and show their good parenting and love by accessing the best treatment/therapy/strategies they can to improve their child's life or if they aren't such good parents, give up on their child as punishment for the child taking away their expectations.

My parents were the latter. I try and be the former. A few of the posters I recognise here are the former too. Incidentally they are the same ones you are having a go at.

Unrelated to this particular post but did I misread your post about Bill Gates, ABFH? You were saying how he should have spent his money that he earnt on a cause you want? WTF? He is a philanthropist and that is a bad thing? He doesn't want to announce his (presumed) autism for what it will do to him, and he should?

Foresam don't say I told you so. There are some decent, smart and compassionate people involved in NeuroDiversity, ABFH just isn't one of them!

Rossco

By Anonymous, at 8:37 AM
Rossco, it ought to be obvious from my writing that I do not hate every person who has participated in a NAAR walk or other Autism Speaks event. To the contrary, I believe that most of them are decent people who just want to do something charitable and have no idea how the money is being spent. Their leaders, however, are explicitly planning for a future where autistics have been wiped out and are nothing but a word for the history books. I call that what it is—genocide.

By your reasoning, I guess we shouldn't criticize Hamas or any other terrorist group because we might offend a few nice folks who contributed to the group with the intent of supporting its social programs. (By the way, Hamas actually has social programs. Autism Speaks doesn't.)

By abfh, at 9:17 AM
Rossco,

There's two important distinctions between how you described dealing with parents in crisis, and what abfh did in her post.

First, there's a big difference between taking behavior they're not proud of and throwing it back in their face, and pointing out ongoing behavior. If someone acts badly in a crisis, but doesn't turn around and start improving, it's justified to point out how they're acting, and how it's been going on for a while. It may even be the best thing to do. If the people being criticized weren't still pushing the same views and agendas on an ongoing basis, then it would be unjustified to judge them by old quotes. Since they still seem to be pushing these views, it's fair to bring them up.

Second, what people say while choosing to advocate publically for a particular cause can and should be held to a higher standard than ordinary opinions. They're voluntarily calling attention to what they say, in the hope that people will notice and be influenced. No one's following the board of Autism Speaks around with a microphone waiting for them to let something slip. These are the statements they're choosing to represent their organizations, their goals, and their views. That's a whole different situation than someone just venting after a bad day. And if you can't say anything critical about people or organizations based on their publically expressed views, I suppose you can't say anything critical about anyone. Which seems to be what you're going for in your post.

I can't think why else you'd equate assuming that how the Autism Speaks' leaders express themselves when speaking on behalf of their own organizations says something about how Autism Speaks will act, with hating all Muslims because there are Muslim terrorists.

By Anonymous, at 11:45 PM
Bravo ABFH! THe last post you sent me had more logic, reason and intelligence in it than anything I read on your blog. It struck me as flawed but I had to think about it to work out where the flaw was. So I wholeheartedly and unreservedly apologise for the comment to Mr Best that you weren't smart.

The flaw in your comment was that you divided the supporters (of Hamas and Autism Speaks into two categories - the people who do not actively participate in the cause but in good intentions financially back or lend support by way of rallies or such - with no real idea of what their cause is about, and the other category is made up of the leaders who are actively leading the members to bad ends. My words not yours I know, but I think that is the crux of what you were saying.)

You then say that you don't hate the former category and only have issue with the rest of them. In some way you think that this counter-argument infers that I have a problem with you having a go at an organisation which the latter category of supporters cause bad things. Sounds about right?

I never made those distinctions you did. I personally think and thought I indictated well enough that there are individuals within that collective whole who do have their autistic childrens best interests at heart (and no I am talking about people actively involved). Am I talking about morons who would see children aborted because of Autism? No! Am I talking about individuals who are trying alternative approaches to improving their severely autistic children's lives (rightly or wrongly) in the face of the heartbreaking lack of success with traditional therapies - Yes. Same group - different objectives - and people like to try and lump them in together. Like people who infer if they are more than passively involved supporters they are culpable for all the group's actions.
Its like those morons in NeuroDiversity collective who are staunch Anti-NT. Morons the lot of them. Yet they are actively involved and I would hazzard a guess that it enough individuals or a collective mass of them quoted Anti-Nt garbage, this wouldn't be fair on NeuroDiversity as an organisation.
What do I really care anyhow? I read a few of your blogs and your comments on this blog and couldn't believe how dumb they were so I put up three arguments to see how you would handle them. I started weakest first. You shouldn't have even entertained the idea of likening religious discrimination to discrimination of people from Autism Speaks. I was wondering if you would just say "Rossco what the hell has An Iraqui guy at your work got to do with an Autism Cause?" I would then have to redefine or offer another premise. No you entertained it and argued it. I didn't think you'd tackle the harder one and not Bill Gates and you didn't disappoint.
Anonymous you are are dead right about the last paragraph - sorry wasn't testing you. The first point you make may well be correct depending on whether your term "they" is used to describe those individuals and doesn't then interchange to also include the organisation in question (or is replaced by the organisation).
As to your second point you do have a point BUT if you have a go at an organisation it ought to be qualified. If not you do risk upsetting people you don't want upset. We have all made faux pas in the past where we have shot our mouths off at a cause, a group, a religion, a culture or whatever and accidentially upset someone we didn't want to. Kind of friendly fire if you like
Anyhow gotta go.

Rossco

By Anonymous, at 6:49 AM
Anonymous: The quotes I mentioned aren't old at all -- every one of them was from this year. Autism Speaks' ugly diatribes have been going on long enough, however, to make it clear that their leaders are not just ordinary parents who are temporarily upset and venting, but a hate group with a carefully calculated genocidal agenda.

Rossco: I answered your nonsensical comment because I wasn't sure whether you were a confused parent or a troll. Now that it's become clear that you are just a troll, I won't waste any more time answering comments from you.

By the way, the Bill Gates post needs no explanation. Gates threw his own "tribe" to the wolves for his personal convenience. You can criticize me for tribalism if you like, but there's nothing to argue.

By abfh, at 9:49 AM
Rossco,

This will be my last comment to you, since you've made your intentions clear. If you really have any concern about friendly fire, and not upsetting people you won't want to, you won't deliberately make spurious arguments, knowingly make false efforts to equate disagreement with bigotry, or make seemingly sincere posts followed by later declarations that you're just 'testing' or otherwise manipulating people. Don't bother to reply; I don't have any more interests in talking to a troll like you, and will be ignoring all future posts of yours. I'm only saying this much in case you ever decide to have an honest discussion on some forum, and are interested in what you did wrong.

By Anonymous, at 11:26 AM
So the tribe has spoken and I have to extinguish my torch and join reality?
I wasn't aware you, me, my son and Bill Gates were part of a tribe - all us having autism? I feel strangely more bonded to you ABFH - just like one big happy family. I hope long-long uncle Bill can come back into the fold soon and identify himself as first and foremostly and autistic person.
Anon if defending a friend from spurious comments from people on this blog by using spurious comments is wrong then I am wrong and don't care too much what you or ABFH think of me, troll or not.

By Anonymous, at 6:37 AM
I just read a divorce case in which a wealthy autism mother complained on appeal that she hadn't been awarded enough support for her three-year-old son's special needs.

The court of appeal rejected her argument, stating as follows:

"The trial court assessed evidence of the wife's childrearing obligations, including with respect to the autistic child, but disagreed with the wife's belief that she needed two nannies, a cook, and a couple of babysitters, as well as a personal assistant."

By Anonymous, at 11:13 AM
For those who may be interested in reading the above case, it's In re Marriage of Ackerman, 146 Cal. App. 4th 191.

By Anonymous, at 3:14 PM

Whose Planet Is It Anyway?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Autism Whines Blues

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