Whose Planet Is It Anyway?

Friday, April 04, 2008

Clifford J. Shoemaker and Lisa Sykes: Putrid Lawyering

Before today, I hadn't written any blog posts that mentioned, even in passing, Shoemaker or Sykes or their dubious doings in the arena of vaccine litigation and autism profiteering. Nonetheless, it looks as if they've decided that I am part of the vast conspiracy whereby Big Pharma, the government, the Illuminati, little green space aliens with tentacles, etc., cruelly inflicted upon society a tsunami of little children who might otherwise have died from vaccine-preventable diseases, or something of the sort.

Kathleen Seidel reported yesterday that Shoemaker issued a subpoena to her in the case of Sykes v. Bayer—as to which she has no connection whatsoever, beyond her investigative reporting—demanding that she hand over all her correspondence with more than a hundred bloggers, including yours truly. Gee, I suppose we ought to feel flattered that our posts about diversity and civil rights are striking such terror into the craven little hearts of the snake oil brigade. The next thing you know, they'll be wanting us to appear personally in court to prove that we don't have green tentacles. (Note to self: after returning from secret meeting aboard flying saucer, inspect blog sidebar picture carefully to make sure all tentacles have been completely edited out.)

Not satisfied to stop there, his slime-o-matic subpoena also demands Kathleen's bank statements, tax returns, and "communication with any religious groups (Muslim or otherwise), or individuals with religious affiliations…"

Charming little bit of innuendo, wouldn't you say? I guess it's meant to suggest that the Evil Neurodiverse (tm) are now part of a Muslim-pharma-Illuminati-government-extraterrestrial conspiracy. Just call me ABFH Hussein.

Oh, and if you order right now, you'll also get Shoemaker's amazing miracle cleaver, which slices and dices the truth, shreds any semblance of dignity and decency, chops logic six ways from Sunday, and minces the duty of an officer of the court. Free tinfoil beanies to the first 100 customers!

I expect the judge finds this garbage a lot less amusing than I do. I also expect, though, that when Shoemaker gets his conniving ass sanctioned for conduct unbecoming a bottom-feeder, he'll just whine that the judge must be part of the conspiracy too.


Update, April 21: Kathleen's motion to quash the subpoena has been granted, and Shoemaker has been ordered to show cause why he should not be sanctioned.

Update, May 18: Shoemaker's tinfoil beanie tantrum gets even more clownishly ridiculous in the response to the order to show cause.

Update, June 24: Shoemaker has been sanctioned for his "unwarranted and unseemly" conduct in issuing the subpoena.

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16 Comments:

  • This subpoena is clearly ridiculous and won't get anywhere in a court room. What is insidious about it, however, is that the legal costs of defending ourselves act as a form of intimidation against free speech, which is probably the intent of the subpoena in the first place. All in all, this is truly an outrage.

    By Blogger Ari, at 9:31 AM  

  • OK - when I stop laughing:) This is priceless

    "Nonetheless, it looks as if they've decided that I am part of the vast conspiracy whereby Big Pharma, the government, the Illuminati, little green space aliens with tentacles, etc., cruelly inflicted upon society a tsunami of little children who might otherwise have died from vaccine-preventable diseases, or something of the sort."

    Actually the whole post is priceless.

    Thanks!

    By Blogger Alyric, at 9:32 AM  

  • This is a despicable business. You have also captured how ridiculous it all is.

    By Blogger Sharon, at 10:41 AM  

  • Maybe the State of NH will go after Seidel next. I'd love to see her put on public display in the stocks for a few days before they lock her up endangering children or some other charge.

    By Blogger Foresam, at 10:50 AM  

  • The imaginings of Shoemaker, Sykes, the Geiers and the whole mercury militia for that matter, are absurd, and deserve to be ridiculed.

    I doubt the judge will allow what amounts to fishing for evidence of an Illuminati conspiracy.

    By Blogger Joseph, at 10:57 AM  

  • Greetings, ABFH Hussein,
    Great post. I'm just amazed at how bizarre this is. I have a feeling that this is going to turn around and bite Shoemaker in the butt.

    By Anonymous Elaine, at 2:40 PM  

  • "Maybe the State of NH will go after Seidel next. I'd love to see her put on public display in the stocks for a few days before they lock her up endangering children or some other charge."


    Fuck, what a stench!

    Who farted?!?!?!?!?!

    By Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction), at 2:57 PM  

  • Hey, do nitwits who don't write a post supporting Kathleen get thrown out of the cult?

    By Blogger Foresam, at 10:33 PM  

  • Still a stench.... someone should watch the amount of beans they eat!

    By Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction), at 7:43 AM  

  • As a non-US citizen, reading about this has been a bizarre way to spend a morning.

    I'm glad the subpoena seems ridiculous to you guys as well. No offense (no, really), but sometimes I have trouble telling with the US legal system.

    By Blogger elmindreda, at 7:44 AM  

  • While on the one hand this is terribly funny, it is also terribly tragic that such legal actions are allowed to function.

    By Blogger Club 166, at 9:40 AM  

  • "Still a stench.... someone should watch the amount of beans they eat!"

    You're just saying that because everyone knows beans are full of microscopic pixies which destroy autism.

    "While on the one hand this is terribly funny, it is also terribly tragic that such legal actions are allowed to function."

    Yes. These high-functioning actions have no right to speak for the poor little low-functioning actions, who can't even make it into court. Like the action against that stupid lawyer which I'd take were I on that ridiculous list. I mean, this could uncover all sorts of stuff we'd rather keep secret, like how we murdered Diana and turned all Sadaam's WMDs invisible so that nobody would find them and poor ole Mr Bush would get the blame. And how we invented the common cold virus, and sent it back in time so that nobody would realise it was a new disease that we created. And how we write all the new, rubbish scripts for Dr Who.

    - Esther

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:55 PM  

  • Looks like John Pest Jr forgot to strap his willy on, doesn't it?

    Or is this another wee lass he's impersonating?

    By Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction), at 4:59 PM  

  • I'm not foresam. I don't sympathise with any of his views. My comment was intended as a parody.

    -Esther

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:13 AM  

  • "I'm not foresam. I don't sympathise with any of his views. My comment was intended as a parody."

    Phew.... that I am glad to find out.

    The parody was lost on me, sadly, but knowing it first hand helps.

    It's just that JBJr's gotten into a weird way of impersonating people (mostly autistic kids) in order to get round the bans that usually follow him from blog to blog.

    By Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction), at 5:05 AM  

  • Pregnant women are told not to eat fish because the mercury found in fish can harm the fetus. So please explain to me why it is then OK to inject mercury into newborns and small children? And if it is indeed true that vaccines no longer contain mercury, then why does pharma fight any attempt to ban it from vaccines?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:24 PM  

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