Whose Planet Is It Anyway?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Vampire Hobbit Porn Really Is More Popular Than JB Handley

The inspiration for this post came from Kevin Leitch, who recently wrote a blog entry about the unpopularity of Handley's latest site, and from a commenter called M, who responded to Kev's post by suggesting that Handley is "less popular than vampire hobbit porn."

My curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to investigate whether that hypothesis might be true. So I did a search for vampire hobbit fanfiction. (Google showed 32,500 results. Be afraid. Be very afraid.) After discovering some truly bizarre stuff, including a Yahoo group called Pervy Vampire Hobbit Fanciers Anonymous, I picked a suitably creepy story entitled We Wants It.

(For those who are mildly curious but aren't quite bold enough to read the story, Gollum the gay vampire gets a craving for Frodo's tasty throat.)

After that, I went to the Check Page Rank site, put in the URL of the site where the vampire hobbit story was posted (hope.rosiesamfrodo.com) and found that its page rank was 1. Then I checked the page rank of putchildrenfirst.org, which was zero, a big fat goose egg.

So there you have it: Gay vampire hobbit porn really is more popular than JB Handley's asinine conspiracy theories.

Tough toenails, JB. Maybe you ought to add the Dark Lord of Mordor and a few perverted orcs to your list of alleged autism epidemic conspirators. You'd probably get a lot more readers.

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9 Comments:

  • That's hilarious.

    By Blogger Joseph, at 11:38 AM  

  • You rock.

    By Blogger Dave Seidel, at 12:02 PM  

  • Put Hobbits First!

    By Blogger notmercury, at 1:20 PM  

  • You'll have to take my word that I'm the same M - but thank you so much for proving my hypothesis!

    Does this count as scientific co-operation?

    By Blogger M, at 3:15 PM  

  • You have NO idea how delighted I am to know that. Gay vampire hobbit porn never hurt anyone.

    By Blogger Kassiane, at 4:28 PM  

  • Hmmmm. I do recall reading that somewhere in the history of the family, one of the Took males took a fairy for a bride. They are a strange bunch, being partial to adventures and the like. The real question is whether Handley is truely Bill Ferney (an evil manipulator), or whether he's more like Lotho Sackville-Baggins in that he started something off that consumed him. Maybe at the end of the day it doesn't matter. What is certain is that he's spending a lot of time and resources getting nowhere.

    By Anonymous Gil Galad is not Gil Gerard, at 5:34 PM  

  • I'm so glad you take on important issues like this ;-)

    I have nothing deep to say...I'm too busy laughing.

    JB Handley gives gay vampire hobbit porn a bad name.

    By Anonymous Tera, at 7:00 PM  

  • Dittos on "Hilarious". My, the internet sure can be fun!

    By Anonymous Shawn, at 9:18 PM  

  • Poor JB,

    By Blogger Interverbal, at 11:17 PM  

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