Whose Planet Is It Anyway?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Guerrilla Sperm Donor

Here's a story about a dude in California who apparently decided to take the preservation of the autistic genotype into his own, um, hand. Identified only as Donor 3066 by a Los Angeles sperm bank, he fathered at least four children on the autistic spectrum. He never mentioned autism in the medical profile form that he filled out when he began donating sperm.

Maybe the autistic resistance ought to take some inspiration from this guy. Who needs an Illuminati vaccine conspiracy when we can just recruit a few brave men willing to contribute their precious bodily fluids to the survival of the race? No need for violence, either; instead of military brigades, we can take over the world with secret squads of Stealth Wankers. No guns, no bombs, just grimy copies of Playboy and little plastic cups. Gives a whole new meaning to "make love, not war," doesn't it?

Donor 3066, I salute your dedicated service to the cause. If the Autistic Liberation Front really existed, I'm sure it would award you a medal of valor for ejaculating above and beyond the call of duty. May you inspire autistic men everywhere to whip their weasel for human diversity. It'll take real warriors to step into your boxers.

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17 Comments:

  • "Stealth Wankers"---bahahahaha!!

    My oldest, who I've written about, is just about to have a full evaluation for Asperger's.

    I've suspected for awhile that he may have been misdiagnosed (not going to get into specifics)or that AS is comorbid with his other issues.

    Why now? We've known that our Little Guy was on the spectrum for years.

    Their young half-brother was recently diagnosed AS and we've only just heard about it. Oy.

    By Blogger Attila The Mom, at 10:11 AM  

  • Thanks a bunch. I now have coffee blown all over my keyboard via my nose. It's a personal problem of mine...
    Nice, hilarious post about a not-so-hilarious subject.
    Maybe in lieu of Playboy mags, we could use your "Cure This" pic. Tres sexy.

    By Blogger Soapbox mom, at 11:07 AM  

  • Damn! All those potential auties I might have sired. Just let them all slip between my fingers and down the drain. Can you please pass the Kleenex?

    By Anonymous 3067, at 11:56 AM  

  • Yeah, that was pretty funny. There are other ways to reproduce nowadays than the usual ones. If NTs can use those types of services, there's nothing wrong with autistics doing the same thing. There's really nothing unethical about this. To believe that there's an ethical problem with it, you'd have to buy into the medicalization of autism.

    By Blogger Joseph, at 12:08 PM  

  • Attila: That's often what happens, one kid gets diagnosed, and then half the family finds out that they are also autistic by today's criteria. We're definitely becoming a minority race. I hope the evaluation goes well for your son.

    Soapbox Mom: Thanks. As much as I tell the curebies to kiss my ass, I figure it's only right that they should have a picture of it.

    3067: Here's the Kleenex, and remember, it's never too late for your member to become a renowned resistance member.

    Joseph: All's fair in love and war.

    By Blogger abfh, at 5:05 PM  

  • Mister may not have known that he's autistic himself, or at least bears more'n a few genes for such.

    What makes my eyes roll is that the moms are complaining -- are they all free from genetic curiosities?

    By Anonymous andrea, at 6:26 PM  

  • The man's sperm was full of candida yeast. Isn't obvious?

    Oh, and I bet he had a lot of dental work and he donated some mercury at the same time.

    By Anonymous Bruce Semon, at 8:29 PM  

  • Come again?

    *ouch*

    Bang goes my idea for an Autie version of the Joy Division :/

    On a serious note, though...

    The mothers could have proably done with knowing the probability of having a child who may (but isn't guaranteed to) experience special needs in later life.

    David N. Andrews BA-status, PgCertSpEd
    Kotka, Finland

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 PM  

  • Want a joy division? How about a neurodiversity sperm bank? Egg bank too.

    I'm serious. The option should be open. And if they want to close it, well, what kind of activists would we be if we allowed them to?

    By Anonymous Namenloss, at 9:36 PM  

  • Mother writes concerning Cheyenne:

    "Pretty much you're thinking this person has a perfect medical history," said Jorgenson, who lives in Sacramento, Calif. "And then later I find out that some of the other siblings have other disabilities that are or are not attributed to the donor. I wouldn't have chose him had I known this had existed."

    Last time I checked, sensitivity to sound and walking on toes were not medical issues, as in "able to be treated with medicine or surgery."

    My first reaction to this quotation was, however, "I hope Cheyenne wasn't in the room when she made that statement."

    [Flash back to Autism Every Day]

    By Blogger Lisa Jean Collins, at 12:53 AM  

  • Mmn, I'm not sure anonymous sperm donation is the way forward, and a read of the article shows why. All that's happened is that a bunch of autistic kids have been born and the mums are complaining about it. We can get a laugh, but the average person reading the article will just think that either the guy didn't know he was autistic, or "irresponsibly" chose not to say. We don't even know whether it was deliberate or not on his part! What we need in my view, once the pre-natal screening gets going, is for an autistic couple to go to IVF and specifically ask for an autistic child, and then go to court if they're refused. That would get the message across - a very important point!

    By Blogger Redaspie, at 5:27 PM  

  • Maybe, but by that point it would alreadly be ina sense 'end-game' for the autistic population

    By Blogger Nathzn, at 2:56 PM  

  • Keep up the amusing rants! They really brighten up my day.

    By Blogger Graeme Phillips, at 7:08 PM  

  • Redaspie, I would point out that there has been a case of a couple of deaf lesbos screening sperm to make sure they would have a deaf baby. However, I don't know the details.

    By Blogger Graeme Phillips, at 7:11 PM  

  • Thanks for mentioning that case, Graeme. Here's a link to an article that discusses it in the broader context of cultural views of disability.

    By Blogger abfh, at 11:35 AM  

  • My daughter is actually one of the children born of this donor. She is not autistic. There are about 17 known children and two may be autistic. These two children have other birth defects. Possibly related to maternal age.

    Michelle

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:39 AM  

  • This is my sperm donor. If you have any questions feel free to ask at Blondencrazee@comcast.net

    By Blogger Michelle, at 4:49 AM  

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