Guerrilla Sperm Donor
Maybe the autistic resistance ought to take some inspiration from this guy. Who needs an Illuminati vaccine conspiracy when we can just recruit a few brave men willing to contribute their precious bodily fluids to the survival of the race? No need for violence, either; instead of military brigades, we can take over the world with secret squads of Stealth Wankers. No guns, no bombs, just grimy copies of Playboy and little plastic cups. Gives a whole new meaning to "make love, not war," doesn't it?
Donor 3066, I salute your dedicated service to the cause. If the Autistic Liberation Front really existed, I'm sure it would award you a medal of valor for ejaculating above and beyond the call of duty. May you inspire autistic men everywhere to whip their weasel for human diversity. It'll take real warriors to step into your boxers.