Good Ol' Boys
This town's for normal folks, see. You know, the good folks that look and sound and act just like the rest of us. Them others what ain't normal, or got kids what ain't normal, well—they don't none of 'em belong in this town. Let 'em keep to their own kind. And one thing's for sure, they ain't got no business putting their brats in our schools, right next to proper-acting kids. Fact is, them what ain't normal just need a good beatin' to teach 'em their place.
'Course, we know they ain't never gonna be normal, however much we beat tar outta 'em. See, they ain't really human like us. But we just like to whup on 'em anyway, 'cause it's fun, and maybe if we do it enough we'll finally beat some sense into their thick ree-tard skulls and run 'em outta town.
Just now heard tell there's some agitatin' in Congress about seclusion and restraint in the schools. Seems we got us some damn fools who think it's cruel to lock ree-tards in broom closets or duct tape 'em to chairs. They even set up a National Call-In Day to do more agitatin' about it. Hoo-ee, ain't they ever gonna stop yappin' about civil rights and interferin' with the way regular folks do things? It was bad enough when we had to let the Nee-groes into our schools, and of course they started gettin' too friendly with our daughters, and now we got us a moo-latto in the White House. Country's goin' to hell in a handbasket, I tell you. Ain't no wonder we got troublemakers as want to be nice to ree-tards.
Don't let 'em fool you with all their agitatin' about civil rights. You know, that's just a code word for the Satan-worshiping commie Illuminati conspiracy to set up a world government, take away all our guns, and burn all our Bibles. Well, I got plenty guns in the cellar, and even a Bible down there somewhere under all the ammo, and anyone fool enough to come for my guns is gonna be pure-dee daid. Got me a rope for any ree-tard what tries to get too friendly with my daughter, too, and a big ol' tree picked out to hang him from.
Now, if any good normal folks want to find me before the Klan meetin' tonight, I'll be out on the lake fishin' with a bottle of Jim Beam…
'Course, we know they ain't never gonna be normal, however much we beat tar outta 'em. See, they ain't really human like us. But we just like to whup on 'em anyway, 'cause it's fun, and maybe if we do it enough we'll finally beat some sense into their thick ree-tard skulls and run 'em outta town.
Just now heard tell there's some agitatin' in Congress about seclusion and restraint in the schools. Seems we got us some damn fools who think it's cruel to lock ree-tards in broom closets or duct tape 'em to chairs. They even set up a National Call-In Day to do more agitatin' about it. Hoo-ee, ain't they ever gonna stop yappin' about civil rights and interferin' with the way regular folks do things? It was bad enough when we had to let the Nee-groes into our schools, and of course they started gettin' too friendly with our daughters, and now we got us a moo-latto in the White House. Country's goin' to hell in a handbasket, I tell you. Ain't no wonder we got troublemakers as want to be nice to ree-tards.
Don't let 'em fool you with all their agitatin' about civil rights. You know, that's just a code word for the Satan-worshiping commie Illuminati conspiracy to set up a world government, take away all our guns, and burn all our Bibles. Well, I got plenty guns in the cellar, and even a Bible down there somewhere under all the ammo, and anyone fool enough to come for my guns is gonna be pure-dee daid. Got me a rope for any ree-tard what tries to get too friendly with my daughter, too, and a big ol' tree picked out to hang him from.
Now, if any good normal folks want to find me before the Klan meetin' tonight, I'll be out on the lake fishin' with a bottle of Jim Beam…
posted by abfh at
12:31 PM
24 Comments:
LOL! I live near Charleston, SC and once you get out of there and around the smaller towns that is pretty much spot on!
Not much of an exaggeration, there, honestly.
By
Stephanie, at 1:08 PM
Sorry, I shouldn't be laughing since this is actually true. I'm laughing because I can't believe this stuff is still true.
By
Stephanie, at 1:50 PM
I wish the perception that all these things go together weren't so prevalent.
Many people who aren't educated don't have an opportunity to be. Hillbillies in the south are often very territorial. Many have learned not to trust strangers for good reasons.
I agree that their prejudices and bigotry should be challenged but the stigma that comes with everyone in a particular area being seen as "ignorant" often isn't helpful at all.
Many minorities and other people who don't have much say in matters that concern them are taught that people being less than supportive of common ways of doing things will be severely punished and often excluded from needed resources.
The privileged should always be challenged. The "good ole boys" should often be tried and convicted of crimes that have for too long been accepted as normal.
Good ole boys to me though means people in positions of power. Everybody who does and acts in all the ways written in this post is not what I call a good ole boy.
The good ole boys that I see as the root of the problem is politicians that discourage independent thought and expression and business owners that encourage conflict between one race vs. another, men vs. women, and so-called high functioning people against so-called low functioning people.
This conflict is too often seen as the way to keep people divided against themselves and a way to prevent people from acting in any unified way either politically or in the workplace.
By
Ed, at 3:34 PM
I should clarify that this post wasn't intended to make fun of southern folks in particular. There are people who think like that all over the country, sad to say.
By
abfh, at 3:45 PM
Ed,
Not being educated isn't an excuse. I'm uneducated: a 7th grade education, GED, about 1 year of college.
If you have ever tried to interact with people like this you will see that they don't want help, they don't want to be "educated."
It is their way or no way. Or perhaps they are "territorial," as you say.
I have grown up around these types of people and there is really no excuse for their behavior or ways of thinking.
And I hate to say that this is more common in the south but it is a sad reality.
By
Stephanie, at 4:09 PM
Stephanie,
I wasn't meaning to make excuses for anyone as much as I was meaning to describe a different or at least broader perspective based on my experience.
Claiming that any group of people is willfully ignorant about how they are privileged and/or bigoted seems fair. Claiming that any group of people is willfully less-than-stereotypically-competent or willfully lacking formal education is not what I consider fair or more importantly it's not what I consider practical.
Formal civil rights and disability rights groups have always had to contend with the bigoted notion that people whose rights were violated were simply unwilling to work within the system in order to get their basic needs met.
Changing peoples attitudes about the system begins with teaching them to trust and that trust can't be established by shaming them into compliance.
By
Ed, at 4:57 PM
Great!
By
e, at 6:26 PM
I like Florence King's definition of Good Ol' Boys. She said that a GOB, when buying you dinner at a restaurant, will have the nerve to say to the waiter, without considering what others might think, "That ain't wine, that's vinegar! Bring us another bottle!"
I think there is some conflation here with the term, "Old Boys Network."
And yes, some anti-Southern prejudice.
I have my prejudices, too; if you speak with a New Jersey accent, I assume that you have criminal tendencies. If you speak with a harsh braying ear-hurting Midwest accent, I don't assume that you are a criminal, I just try to avoid conversation with you, as I can't consider your arguments while feeling hateful about the way you talk.
By
Justthisguy, at 11:00 PM
I'd like to see a parody of the many prejudices of white educated Australian middle-class career mums with Anglican or Catholic backgrounds. I'm not holding my breath.
With respect, I believe it's the unspoken prejudices of the ruling class and the socially influential that we should be the most concerned about. The rest of us only get to vote once each on polling day.
By
Lili Marlene, at 11:37 PM
@Lili: Concur, and what she said, and A effing Men!
By
Justthisguy, at 1:31 AM
Here's something by an annoying smart-ass New Jersey person making fun of us dumb Southerners: http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2010/01/ya_gotta_love_t_1.html
Please read all of the comments, not just mine, but specially that last one by FbL (Fuzzybear Lioness)
By
Justthisguy, at 4:43 AM
Hmm, looks like I'm not allowed to put up links here.
By
Justthisguy, at 4:45 AM
http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2010/01/ya_gotta_love_t_1.html
By
Justthisguy, at 4:48 AM
Why is the link I tried to put up truncated?
Well, go to www.thedonovan.com, and go back to the post entitled Ya Gotta Love the South, on January 15th.
By
Justthisguy, at 4:54 AM
If there aren't any spaces, URL's go off the edge of the area set for comments. That's why it was truncated.
I have to be honest - when I skimmed this I was thinking Dukes of Hazzard for goodness sake! Anyone remember the theme for that? It did make me laugh.
But seriously, this is a base for bigotry - the biggest enemy of all for the Spectrum. The mentality that intends to make us feel bad about ourselves and inferior. It goes back a long way and as Lili noted has many roots in religion.
You only have to look at Cresp/Lurker to see a great example of massive negativity! (oops did I say that name in here?)
By
Anonymous, at 5:15 AM
As hysterical as this was, it is not just the "hillbilly" faction of our society that feels this way. An increasing number of the intellectual elite (and those who perceive themselves to be the intellectual elite who are really anything but) are making ridiculolus claims about children being "overdiagnosed" with various conditions when what they really need is "discipline." I put discipline in quote because discipline comes in many forms, but when most people say it, what they really mean is *discipline they agree with*, which usually consists of physical violence and bullying.
To be perfectly blunt...
If anyone needs to be bred out of existence, it's the "intellectual" elite. I say we set up an organization devoted to finding a cure for arrogant stupidity.
By
Adrianna, at 10:41 AM
Well, Adrianna, I would not be so harsh. Maybe we could just point out how silly they are? That type seems to be breeding at less-than-replacement levels anyway.
@Timelord: Please do have a look at that post at www.thedonovan.com. It is right funny; put up by a New Jersey guy pretending to make fun of us dumb Southerners. Hey, it's a Milblog, some smartass heavy teasing is to be expected.
It is, however, all in good fun. They are good people who keep that blog and hang out in the comments.
By
Justthisguy, at 6:02 PM
To get back on topic:
As I wrote at Socrates' place, Arkansas is , and has always been, completely ate up with cronyism. I dunno if this is cause or effect of the common Southern opinion that decent folks should avoid politics.
That's the state which gave us President B.J. Clinton, who told Juanita Broaddrick to "put some ice on that." It's the state which gave us the suspicious criminal-CIA connection with South American cocaine smugglers. It's the state in which somebody sabotaged the nosewheel of David Rockefeller's bizjet, hoping for a flaming crash on landing.
It's the state with Hot Springs in it, an almost law-free zone for over a hundred years, at least when it comes to gambling,drinking and prostitution.
My maternal grandfather, before he ran out on his wife to marry his secretary (impoverishing his wife, and my Mom and her siblings) used to run out temporarily to Hot Springs from time to time, for debauchery and dissipation; all illegal, and all winked at.
By
Justthisguy, at 6:55 PM
I share your contempt for the attitudes you are mocking here. I wonder if it would have been more effective, in terms of overall goals, to put this message forward without using stereotypes, which my be seen as suggesting that the worth of the content is determined by the style of communication.
By
VAB, at 11:53 AM
@VAB: I've made fun of bigoted conspiracy theorists in other ways, such as in my post about Clifford Shoemaker's ridiculous subpoena to Kathleen Seidel. But I do think it's rather ironic that there are some people who are prejudiced against autistics and others with developmental disabilities chiefly because of our speech, even though they face discrimination for the same reason of being unfairly assumed to be less intelligent because of their speech.
By
abfh, at 2:06 PM
First time poster! :)
When I read this I couldn't help but think "These are the words of John Best!" lol!!
Same kind of ignorence, same kind of empty ranting, same kind of stupidity. Can we cure the world of these people?
Theo
By
Anonymous, at 4:10 PM
@Adrianna:
"An increasing number of the intellectual elite (and those who perceive themselves to be the intellectual elite who are really anything but) are making ridiculolus claims about children being 'overdiagnosed' with various conditions when what they really need is 'discipline.'"
While statements like that are prejudiced towards disabled people, there is another side to that coin. There are more and more categories being added to the DSM and more and more people being diagnosed and stigmatized. While it is problematic for people to be saying that stuff out of prejudice, we can't deny the effects they have on the disabled.
By
TheWiredOne, at 3:38 PM
Well,a lot of the good ol' boys'
buxom blonde daughters are increasingly
choosing handsome black lads such as myself!!!!
By
Anonymous, at 6:49 PM
Loved this ;)
By
Being Nearly Human, at 1:00 AM
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