Bigot Syndrome

What's that you say? There's nothing wrong with eugenics because normal people shouldn't have to put up with being around retards?

How do you know you're not a retard yourself? You say you had an IQ test and the results turned out normal? Which test was it? That one? Don't you know that old test has been obsolete for years?

There's a new kind of IQ test nowadays, haven't you heard? It measures the most essential components of intelligence, like being able to consider others' points of view, understand the value of human diversity, and make sound ethical decisions.

You know, pal, you're not looking too good on the new test. And it seems you've got a lot of company. At least 1 in 20 people scored in the significantly impaired range on this test. It's a horrifying epidemic, a worldwide calamity.

But don't worry, we're not going to call you a retard. We're too politically correct for that, and anyway, we need to make up a catchy new scientific-sounding name so that we can drum up support for our heroic efforts to cure the millions of tragic sufferers. So we're going to say that you're afflicted with a mental disorder called Boneheaded Inadequate Grasp of Tolerance Syndrome, abbreviated to Bigot Syndrome, or BS, for short.

Oh, did you say something? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. You can't expect that anyone will care what you have to say now that you've been labeled as a BS sufferer, after all.

Now go find yourself a support group and get out of our way while we solicit funds to raise public awareness of the BS epidemic. We don't have time to listen to you. We're much too busy researching the genetic basis of your disorder so that we can prevent BS and save future generations from the ghastly misery that you're suffering.

Oh, you claim you weren't suffering before our public service announcements about the horrors of BS ensured that schools wouldn't admit you, employers wouldn't hire you, and landlords wouldn't rent to you? Maybe you need some meds for your paranoia. We're all just trying to help you.

It's a proven fact that bigots are more likely to join racist street gangs and end up serving long prison sentences. You're much better off now that your mental disorder can be treated through behavioral interventions and psychiatric drugs. And look, there are plenty of employers that will hire you to mop the floor. So what are you complaining about? You should consider yourself lucky that you're not in prison like all those poor tragic bigots who grew up before modern treatments were available.

You're so ungrateful. It must be a symptom of your disorder. Just look at all the hard work we're doing to create a brighter future for all those who struggle with BS. We're only a few years away from identifying your defective genes and finding ways to rewire your brain to make you behave exactly like the rest of us.

And of course we're going to use the research to create a prenatal test. There's no reason why we shouldn't. Don't you believe women should have the right to control their own bodies? You must be some sort of pro-life whacko if you have a problem with women choosing abortion because of what they learned about your horrifying disorder in the "BS Every Day" video.

What's that word you just said? Eugenics? Don't you know there's nothing wrong with eugenics because normal people like us shouldn't have to put up with being around someone like you?